Last Day of Lessons Learned from Lydibug! Day 31

Well, October has come and is almost gone.  It has been fun writing down the lessons that Lydia has taught me.  I am a better person because of her.  However, the most valuable lesson that I learned this month was from a lady who chose not to look beyond a physical difference, a lady who chose to stay in a world where she closes herself off to learn some of the greatest lessons and experience some of the best blessings.  I can write today and say I am thankful for that experience.  While the words still sting and I will never quite understand what would lead a person to say something so horrible out loud, I appreciate her teaching me lessons too.

Just because October is almost gone does not mean that the job of spreading awareness stops.  As I was taught by this lady, there is still much work to be done.  Showing people that folks like Lydia are much more alike than different.  If we could all accept each other like children do to one another, life would be grand.  I had the opportunity to talk to a classroom of 3, 4, and 5th graders.  They were able to ask questions and I educated them about Lydia.  The learned, they asked their questions, and they faced their fears of the what ifs.  Every morning I drop my children at school, every one of those students line up to give Lydia a hug, to pick her up, to get "knucks" or a high five.  Lydia walks those halls like she owns them making sure to say hi to everyone.  That would be the picture perfect place.  Since it is not, we need to continue to spread the awareness!

A recap of the lessons Lydia has taught me.....
*The power of prayer is an amazing thing.  This is our life line to God who makes all things possible.
*When the situation is tough, turn up the music and dance like no one is watching.
*Having faith in God is our true foundation; without that we are just on sinking sand.
*Love is a sacrifice, love is a choice; love is not just a feeling.
*Lydia has unleashed a passion in my for creating awareness for Down syndrome.
*Giving is super important and giving beyond yourself is even better.
*I am to be an active and involved parent.
*SLOW DOWN and RELAX!
*Lydia has taught me how to have courage, even when the mountain seems too high to climb.
*Be comfortable in the skin you have, no matter what it may look like.
*Be informed, ask questions and think more objectively.
*Fears should not dictate our decisions; we need to face them head on.
*Determination....never give up!
*Small moments are a huge thing; learn to appreciate them!
*Remember what you prayed for and savor those moments; no matter how long/short they may be!
*True contentment!
*Judgment is a terrible thing.
*Sacrifice is a joyful thing.
*Joy does not mean happy all the time, rather it is a way of life.
*Think outside the box.
*Big or small, able or differently-able, we all have an important place.
*Value each relationship.
*There is still a lot of awareness that needs to be done, so keep on spreading the word!
*Take the high road, especially in difficult situations.
*There is always room for improvement in yourself, never settle.
*A smile has amazing power!
*The word possible says I'm possible!
*Imperfections are a blessing and they are perfect!
*Encourage one another.

There are many more lessons that she has taught me and that she will continue to teach me along the way.  I am constantly growing and becoming more of the person that God wants me to be.  I am so blessed to be on this journey.  Thank you for taking a moment to read the lessons that Lydia has taught me.  Enjoy the pictures.  A picture says it all...she is worth a million words, a million smiles, a million hugs, a million prayers!  She has a lot of value and she belongs in our family!

Lessons Learned From Lydibug Day 30

I can't believe that it is the end of the month almost!  There are still so many lessons that she has taught me, but I believe she will continue to teach me daily.  She is such a blessing.  Today will be the last lesson that I am sharing.  Tomorrow I thought it would be fun to a do a recap of all of the lessons from this month as well as share a lot of photos of our little Lydibug!  Thank you again for reading and encouraging.  I love to write, even though I am not so good at it (I don't reread so often times there are a lot of grammatical errors and incomplete thoughts...so sorry) but it is fun to see that people actually read what I write!  Thanks!

Lydia has taught me the importance of encouragement.  I know funny because she does not yet talk so how can she encourage?  However, she communicates very well with her body and expressions.  You always know what is going on with her.  Lately she has been trying to communicate by mouth and I wish she would do far less of it because she seems to yell and grunt all of the time.  Mommy's ears could use a little bit of a break!  But she is a great encourager.

Right before someone is leaving in our house, Lydia picks up on it.  She realizes they are grabbing their keys or putting their shoes on or jacket on.  Whatever she is doing she will walk over to the door and give them a hug.  If for some reason it is not a hug she will start waving goodbye.  And they always get a smile to leave the house with. 

When one of her sisters gets hurts she always is there for a hug to them.  She pats them on the back and tells them it will be OK.  Before we go to bed she always has to give everyone a hug.  She is good at giving strangers hugs and waving at them in the store.  It always seems like it is someone who needs it too!  She always seems to know just the person or the time to send a hug or a smile to in order to be a pick-me-up to their day.

In just watching her interact with people you understand the importance of encouragement.  Because of this, I try to encourage those around me as well.  Because I am an adult, and hugs and smiles just are not as cute coming from me, it usually is in the form of a note or something.  It may take a little more time, but is so worth the effort.  I also like when people leave me encouraging thoughts, Bible verses, or comments on here or our caring bridge site and I think that maybe someone would like that.

The other day we received a box of cookies.  I had no idea where they were from or who sent them.  There was one sticker on there that read Sunflour Confections.  The return address was from TX.  Who do I know in TX and why would they be sending cookies?  Upon a little more investigating I discovered that it was part of the Icing Smiles organization.  Icing Smiles is a nonprofit organization that provides cakes to those children battling medical problems.  We had a sugar angel this year for Lydia's 2nd Birthday and she did the most amazing cake.

Well, I wrote them a thank you, both our new sugar angel and Icing Smiles to let them know that I really needed that pick me up.  (I have been a little blue and struggling a bit after last week and those unkind words!)  After sending the thank you note, I realized how important it is to say thank you, encourage others, and share your story.  Someone else also needed to be encouraged by someone sharing their story.  It is amazing the impact you can have on someone else when you take a moment to encourage, say thank you, or share your story.

Once again, lesson learned.  This has been a fun lesson.  In the hospital I wrote a thank you note to every nurse who cared for Lydia.  I wrote a note to every doctor who helped us out.  It was a small way to let them know that I appreciated what they did.  It was very therapeutic for me as well.  This is a lesson that I have learned and tried to apply as much as possible.  It is so important for us to encourage those around us.  It changes a whole day when I know others are praying for me, for our family, for Lydia.  Who will you encourage today?

Lessons Learned from Lydibug Day 29

Imperfections are a blessing.
Imperfections are perfect.
Imperfections are wonderful.
Imperfections are teaching moments.
Imperfections are part of us all.

Lydia has taught me about imperfections and mainly mine.  See when I first learned that I was carrying a child with Down syndrome, my mind could only wrap itself around all of the imperfections that I read about.  The possibility of low lying ears, slanted eyes, low muscle tone, cognitive delays and the list goes on.  I read about the increased risk to many more medical issues.  My mind could not get past her imperfections she may have.

As I sit here now writing this I just think about how silly that is.  I think about what if my husband could not look past MY imperfections?  What if he only saw an overweight woman who has thinning hair, a huge scare on her forehead, a huge beauty mark on her face, a birth mark that takes up the entire side of her leg, THUNDER THIGHS, cottage cheese legs, and the list goes on.  So that is probably more than you needed to know; but hopefully you get my point.  What if he could not look past my short comings as a person.  Someone who use to have tendencies to lie, someone who was completely and utterly selfish, someone who let money direct her life, someone who was not very kind because she put herself first all of the time, someone who was critical of everyone else, and the list goes on and on.  What if he could not look past the fact that I detest feet, that I am terrified of heights or that I like to eat sweets.

Take a breath, that was a bit of an honest look at myself and I am horrified by it.  I am not a perfect person; not even close.  I have so many imperfections it is scary.  But my husband chose me to look past those and love me anyways.  I am sure I am not an easy person to love (bless his heart) but together we make a team, together we can overcome any hurdle.  Love is a choice and he chose to look past those imperfections.

I look at Lydia's imperfections and those are the things I am completely in love with.  I love how flexible she is.  She can get herself into the most unusual positions and it is cute.  I love the look of her eyes; especially when she rolls them (remind me of this when she is 15).  I love how her belly tells a BEAUTIFUL story of her life.  I love the sweetness of her personality and how she looks through life.  I love her, all of her imperfections.

See, the extra weight that I carry is still from growing and birthing three children.  The last put a little more stress on my body and then in my life and I still have not had the opportunity to work on getting that off.  The thunder thighs is something that I was blessed with along with the cottage cheese.  That is who I am, how I was made.  I do not let that stand in my way.  I try to be healthy and stay active, but that will not hinder me by any means!  Just like Lydia's slanted eyes or one crease on her hand or her low muscle tone.  None of that will slow her down or get in her way...that is just how she was created.

She may be a little slower at learning things than the other kids, but there are certainly other things that she is not slow at catching onto!  She has figured out how to be sassy and silly just like her sisters.  She has figured out that whining may or may not get her things.  She has figured out how to walk and get into EVERYTHING.  These experiences and things make her who she is, they complete her character.  She is a blessing.

As I reflect on the list of who I am, my imperfections it is long and really quite embarrassing.  However, a lot of things that I use to be have been changed because of Lydia.  A lot of things that I have not been proud that it was part of me, my daughter Lydia has taught me lessons and the importance of being a better person. 

Imperfect some may say, a better place without her, a simpler life for her family if she had not been born.  To me, when I put it in black and white, I would be very sad if I was the same person I was before Lydia, I bet the world is happy too that she came along to make her mom a better person.  Sometimes we need other people's imperfections in our lives to make us realize our own imperfections. 

Celebrate your imperfections, be proud of the person you are.  The words that were spoken at the Down syndrome Awareness Walk this year are still etched in my mind.  The ambassador that spoke was so proud of who he was, he was happy with the person God created him to be.  He knew there were things that he struggled with, but he was OK with that, he was going to try even harder to make sure that he too could accomplish that.  He knew his strengths, where he excelled and he knew his weaknesses too.  It balanced him and completed him as a person.  Simply beautiful to me.

All of Lydia's so called imperfections make her who she is.  All of her imperfections make me a better mom and a stronger person.  She has changed me in some very profound ways.  I am going to try really hard for my imperfections to be something I am not embarrassed of, but proud of because they make me, me. 

We all are imperfect in some way, shape or form.  She is no different there.  What she has, however, is an amazing outlook on her imperfections.  How she carries herself and what she does with those imperfections is what sets her apart.  She is a blessing in disguise and I am honored to be her mom. 

What will you chose to do with your imperfections?  I am glad that my husband looked beyond those imperfections and chose me and decided to love me anyways.  Because of that love we have been blessed with Lydia.  Because of that we have been taught many valuable lessons.

Lessons Learned from Lydibug Day 28

Lydia has taught me that in the word impossible it really spells I'm possible.  Despite what others may say aloud (even if you can't believe that they would really say that), what others will think, how they will judge, or what the silent stares may say....Lydia has done far more than what I will ever accomplish and more than what most others will do in a lifetime.  Lydia has defied life itself with fighting constantly to be where she is today, she has overcome stereotype after stereotype just by being who she was created to be and she continues to teach me and those around her about themselves and life.  She is simply amazing and she is possible.

With each task for her it may seem like she can't.  However, she will work and she will fight until she can accomplish it.  For someone else it may not even seem like a big deal, it may not even seem like a task; for Lydia it may be a mountain, it may seem impossible, but she too will climb it when she is ready, she will accomplish it on her own time.  She may fall a couple hundred times, she may lose her footings more than a time or two, she may get caught in the elements, but she will never give up.  She constantly picks herself up and keeps going.  She is on no time schedule, she is not comparing herself to anyone or anything else, she is not meeting a deadline, and often times she really does not matter what it takes to do it.  She does not care how she looks she does not even care what others thinks.  She focus in on her task and does what it takes until it is complete.  She is possible and she teaches others how to think they are possible too.

When I think that I can't climb this next mountain that is staring me in the face, when I think that I am completely exhausted, I think of Lydia.  With each task she has accomplished, with each new milestone, it did not matter how many people said that she could not do it, how long it took, how many times she failed; she never gave up.  She kept at it until she could do it.  That is what I call inspiration.  That is what I call complete victory.  That is what I call worth.

She sees life through an entirely different lens.  Some may say it is distorted, it has no value, it is worthless, it is R****ted; I call it beautiful.  I wish I had that same lens.  She may never accomplish some of the things that her sisters accomplish, however, they will never accomplish what Lydia accomplishes either.  See we can look with a judging lens over her and try to discourage her, but that still will not keep her down.  We can look at her with an open lens and try to encourage her and see how much she amazes us.  If any child is look at with "I'm Possible" every child can flourish...she is no different.

Lydia is content with her lens, with who she is, her accomplishments, her talents, her abilities, with how God created her.  She does not want to change that, she wants to share with you who she is, what she is able to do, and laugh with you.  She wants to know you and create a friendship with you.  I am trying to learn from this, I am trying to be more like that, however, I would LOVE to see the world through her lens, so pure and untainted. 

I am so blessed to have Lydia in my life and continually teach me how to be better, how to live life being content just the way you are.  I am so blessed that she is patient and kind and willing to share her gifts she was given so freely.  I am so blessed, even on those days that it is hard.  The impossible always will be I'm possible no matter what.  The impossible will always be possible when I am working hard.  Thanks Lydia for another very valuable lesson.  It looks like mom has a lot of work ahead of her implementing all of these valuable lessons.

Lessons Learned from Lydibug Day 27

I was completely exhausted from vacation last night to write, so I am catching up this morning.  One lesson that I need to remember over and over is that simple is better.  I always find myself over complicating things and then they never turn out how I want them to anyways.  I get frustrated when I plan a big old fun day to find that the girls only wanted to play in the dirt.  I ruin the memories because my ego has been bruised.

Lydia keeps teaching me this every single day.  It is not about the toys, but the boxes they come in that are so much fun.  It is not about the big vacation that we can go on, but about the number of outdoor play sets we can find to play on.  I am still caught up in the dream life that we have to have bigger and more for it to be better. 

Just getting back from vacation and I am learning this over again!  I am drowning my sorrows of not being able to do this or that because a certain child does not travel well.  I am grieving the fact that we may never get to do this or that.  But what I am forgetting is the memories that we made.  The fun that we had and the time that we were able to share...no matter what we were or were not able to do.

See Lydia nor the other girls really care what we do or where we go.  We were able to stay in a motel.  That means that they were able to watch TV (we don't have that at home) and make forts and it was a new place to explore.  They were able to eat donuts for breakfast and snack all day long.  It meant that we were able to go to places that we had not been to before and visit a good friend's shop.  It meant that we were able to play on new playground equipment and go hiking through the woods.  When asked what the best part of the trip was "It was just spending time with my family."

I get so caught up in the big and the better part of life and I miss out on the small moments.  Bigger is not better.  I don't know if the same goes for your family, but after what our family has been through, bigger is not better.  Those nights of putting our Pj's on early and snuggling together on the couch to watch a movie, it is then that I see the biggest smiles on their faces.

Lydia reminds us over and over that she loves her home and she does much better at home than she does anywhere else.  Our house is not big and it is not fancy, but it is safe and comfortable.  It is what she knows as home.  It does not have to be big or fancy but it does have to have her sisters there and her parents.  It does have to be safe and comfortable, simple just as she knows it.

I am battling this lesson on so many levels, but when I learn, I will find joy and peace like all my girls have.  They make the best out of any situation, they are content in the small things, and bigger is NOT better for them.  See, to have the simple things around; love, family, friends, a feeling of security.  I would have thought that I would have learned this after everything we have been through, but I battle this one.  Simple is the best.  Family means I am rich.  Happiness is having that sense of security. 

Once again I need to be reminded of this simple but profound lesson that less is more, simple is better and big is not always the best.  Being together as a family, having each other's love and presence is the most important thing for them and us.  Thank you Lydia for reminding me and I am sorry, but you are going to have to teach this one to me over and over again!  One day, I hope, I will understand this critical lesson just as well as you do!

Lessons Learned from Lydibug Day 26

As the days go by I am struggling to continue to explain why Lydia makes me better.  There is lesson after lesson that I have learned from her and as I am happy to share them, sometimes I feel like a lot of the lessons are very similar, yet very different.  Sometimes I feel like I am repeating myself.  But I cannot help but try to encourage someone who just found out that their baby may have a little something extra, to try to help others see that Lydia is more alike that different.  However, it is not up to me to change people's minds, they have to do it for themselves.  And the only way to really do that is to surround yourself with people who are different than you.

I remember that it was scary learning that our child was different.  And the only reason that she had the label of different is because society is trying to lump all of these beautifully created people into one category when they really can't.  There are trends and risks for people who are extra special, but my other children have that too....there just is not a HUGE spot light that creates attention.

I guess what I am trying to say is that because I was vulnerable, I opened myself up to a new experience, a new challenge, I have been blessed.  Because I said yes I will love you unconditionally for who you were created to be I have been blessed beyond my comprehension.  However, you must first get to the point that you are willing to expose yourself in such a way.

If I look at it like that, I cannot expect others to fully understand the goodness of Lydia until they want to open themselves up and experience the blessings.  PreLydia days I probably was not so open to people who looked different, acted in a different way, looked a little different.  I probably saw a child acting out and thought that they were not properly disciplined instead of now I am more open to the possibility of something else.  I think if we are all honest with ourselves we would have to admit that.

I am blessed because I said yes.  She has taught me stuff beyond what I thought was possible.  However, I am in a teachable place because I did say yes!  That is a great spot to be in and I pray that I am able to stay here.  God is using me and growing me because I am open to that.  Lydia has taught me that just because she was born.  I hope that makes sense.  But we were given that choice (there was no choice for us because I do not believe in abortion and that would never be an issue for our family no matter what) when we found out that there may be something different with our baby.  At that very moment I was teachable and I have been learning lessons about myself and life ever since then. 

Thank you Lydia for showing me a whole new path in life, for allowing me to look at a circumstance through much different eyes.  Thank you for allowing me to be a better person and constantly growing.

Lessons Learned from Lydibug Day 25

The power of a smile.  I never realized the power of a smile until I had Lydia.  While I LOVED when my other children smiled, it never had quite the impact of Lydia's smile.  I think there are several reasons for this.

One, when Lydia smiles, she uses her entire face.  Her smile can be seen in the darkness from anywhere.  It is amazing how much her smile lights up.  She smiles with her eyes, her nose, her cheek bones, her forehead, her eyebrows, her ears...her entire face lights up. 

She feeds off of other people.  As soon as she sees someone she just lights up.  And it is not half heartily, but she does it with all of her being.  She makes sure the person is look and flashes that cheese ball smile that you can't help but fall in love with.

To me her smile means that she has survived.  I have watched her endure so much.  She has battled through surgery after surgery, she has been dead and alive in the same moments, she constantly had people poking and prodding and her, she was always made to do something that she did not want to do.  She has overcome that and not just survived, but she has a BEAUTIFUL smile on her face too.  She is proud of that and she can smile about it.  It is not a smile that holds grudges because she feels sorry that she had to endure everything, not a smile that is holding back because she thinks that she is of less worth; but a smile that radiates confidence and self pride.  A smile that was created to light up the lives of those around her.

I am told often that people could just look at her smile and it can turn their day around.  People have asked me if I will just bring her by their office so she can put them in a good mood.  To be able to have that much of an impact on people's lives is simply amazing.

I am blessed to have that smile around me every second of the day.  I usually don't take it for granted either.  I usually can't help but smile back at her and hug her.  Something about that smile that takes my breath way.  Something about that smile that is simply amazing.  Something about that smile that is nothing more than a miracle!