Sunday, September 23, 2012

What do you see?

One of the things that I have wondered a lot about lately, is what do you see when you see Lydibug?  As a mom, I see my daughter.  I see a loving little girl who is very full of life.  I see eyes that sparkle.  I see the joy in her face when one of her sisters comes into the room.  I see my child.  I see a miracle.  I see someone who has overcome so much and beat the odds.

What does someone who is not connected to her see?  Do they see Down syndrome?  Do they see her scars?  Can they see a story in her eyes?  Do they just see a child?  Do they see the physical features?  Do they think that she is not as capable as someone else?  Can they tell that she has low tone?  Can they tell that she is behind developmentally? 

I wonder.  It does not make a difference to me, but I wonder.  I guess I hear that phrase a lot about how love is blind.  I understand that now.  I don't see the things that this world sees.  I see a miracle that God has given me.  I see a child who has overcome more than most people ever will in their life.  I see a child with unlimited possibilities.  I see inspiration.

Love is seeing through what the world tells you to see.  Love is making a choice to love.  I will have to say that it is a pretty easy choice to love Lydia.  And most days it is not really a choice.  But love is blind.  Love is something so powerful that makes me forget all of these things.  Love is not about me, but all about the other person.  Love is amazing when we understand what it is and how to do it.  It does not make me feel anything, it is a choice and by making that choice, God blesses me.

I remember some of the emotion that I had when I first found out about having a child with Down syndrome.  What would others think?  How could I do it?  Would it be OK?  What if?  I know that I was scared.  But I was also over taken by this strong need to love.  It would be OK if I made that choice to love.  God loved me so much that He placed this very special child into my life.  He loved me enough to give me a child who would be wearing designer genes for her entire life.  He loved me enough to give me a child with an extra chromosome.

I don't think there is anything that can prepare you for what love will do when we make that choice.  As I sit here and think about some of those thoughts, I just laugh to myself.  Most of those fears seem so silly now.  She is my daughter and how could I not love her?  She was created just for me (and my family).  She was hand picked and chosen for us because we needed her and she needed us.

There are still many things about the future that are scary, but when I think about how blessed I have been because the choice to love was made, everything just melts.  I can't begin to describe how wonderful she is.  I look at how Ellen and Allison just love and adore their sister.  I can't think of anything more perfect than that.

I am so glad that God gave us this opportunity.  This road that we call our love story gets stronger and stronger every day.  Years ago when we said "I DO" I don't think we even could comprehend what love was.  Today, I think we have a better understanding, but really know we are just touching the tip of the iceberg.  Love is a powerful thing.  Love is a choice.  Love is one of the most beautiful things, even when everything around you seems so ugly.

For us, there was no choice, but to love our daughter.  I hope one day every family can understand that.  No matter what they are facing, the choice to love is the only choice.  God will see you through if you trust in Him.

So, I guess what I am telling myself, it makes no difference what others see when they see our precious Lydibug (or any of our other girls).  Love has made me blind to what the world thinks and has allowed me to focus on what God wants me to perfect girls. 

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