I am currently doing a Bible study on being grateful. I sure have a long way to be grateful as Jesus calls me to, I have learned that it is about conditioning the heart, training my heart to be grateful in everything. After all, Jesus died for me, I did not deserve it (still don't), so no matter how bad things get, I ALWAYS have something to be thankful for.
Lately, Lydia has been waking during the night. Normally she sleeps right through the night. She has always been a great sleeper. However she has not been feeling well so we usually are up with her. At our Bible study the other day we talked about being thankful at all times of the day. So this morning when she started crying, I woke up and started grumbling. Then I remembered to be thankful, this is another time that I can give thanks to God. I did. It was amazing. I want to share with you my "whispers" from my daughter and what it teaches me in life. What another great blessing she has taught me!
This morning you woke and started whispering to me in your cute soft cry. I picked you up out of your crib and you hugged me tight. You cooed and smiled all the way down the stairs. Your little hand started to sign milk. You drank and drank until your little tummy was full. You sat on my lap and smiled and melted my heart.
You are always whispering things to me, but often times I miss it. I am too busy with life or I am too concerned about you eating or what I have to get done around the house. But this morning, you had my attention, you were pulling at my heart strings.
You whisper to me in many different ways. You always have a story to tell. Sometimes it is with your sweet soft cry, or a huge vicious cry. Sometimes you take your hands and run them through my hair and whisper to me. Sometimes you hug me and pat my shoulder ever so gently. Your smile can tell a thousand words to make any one's mood change. Your pouty face is enough to make the sourest faces turn to a laugh. You have so many expressions and each one of them whispers to me.
This morning as the soft gentle light was shining on your face, you smiled with such delight. You were whispering to me, "Mommy I know it is early, but I just wanted to hang out with you. I wanted to see you and smile to you. I wanted you to sing to me and tell me stories." Your face spoke a thousand words to me. The smile you gave me told me everything was going to be OK.
As you turned to hug me, I know that you felt the stress in mommy's body. You patted my shoulder and I knew everything was going to be OK. I know you are not fretting or worrying, I know you are trusting and walking the path God has laid before you without any hesitation. Your pat reminded me how faithful your love is and how I need to be better at that. Your pat reminded me that I need to be stronger for you.
You started to sing to me. You have a very pretty voice and all kinds of things to say. You were singing the Psalms I believe! You were rejoicing and getting me to sing along with you. You have a way to make even the saddest people realize the joy they have in this world. You have a gift that whispers right to my heart, to look at the world through your eyes, non judgemental, just with a pure heart.
You reached your cute small hand up to my head and started to twirl my hair. You were starting to get sleepy, but you wanted to make sure mommy was OK. You were playing with my hair, eyes fading in and out, and you were talking; telling me how much you loved me. You would nod and smile and then you would open one eye to make sure I was still looking at your precious face. You were whispering to me and telling me to keep the faith, to keep pressing on. You were reminding me of these great silent moments where you just whisper to my heart! I often over look them, but I am blessed that you keep reminding me about them.
As you nuzzled in to sleep, you were singing and talking to me. You were telling me of your hopes and dreams. You were telling me of what you endured and how much better you are because of everything you went through. You were thankful that you have a great story to tell others. You were whispering to me about what you would accomplish in life. How you would keep surprising everyone and keeping everyone on their toes. You whispered into my ear well beyond when you were fast asleep.
When you woke, you had a smile on your face. You were still whispering to me your dreams. I pray for you precious baby, God has His hand on you and you have already done great things. I am so excited to see what else He has in store for you.
I realized at that point about how blessed I truly am. There is a love, a pure joy there that is so much different from my other children. There is a purity that cannot be stained. There is a sense of complete love, the kind of love that can only come from our Father. There is an innocence that is untouched and won't be lost. She has something about her that I cannot describe, but it whispered so deeply to my hear that I am forever changed.
In quite moments of the mornings I think we learn so many important things. For me, it was what she really means to me. How much she really has changed my life, how blessed I am. I needed that in more ways than one. I have struggled with our path the good Lord has set before us. We have had many trials and tribulations lately. And through it all, she is constantly smiling, growing, learning, developing, and affecting every one she meets.
My words do no justice of what she means to me, the impact she has on my life. But as I could have listed off a million and one reasons to complain and mumble this morning, she whispered to me life's greatest blessings! (what an impact it made on my day...it still was a very hard day; but so much better to start off with the whispers of her heart)