Sunday, October 28, 2012

6 days

Will you join us in asking our Heavenly Father to give Lydia 6 days of health, eating, and drinking? Also, if God will give our family 6 days of rest, a time to recharge and gain our strength again?  We feel that if we are able to get some time of rest and steady eating and drinking and most importantly health, it would really help Lydia.

It has been really stressful.  As my husband and I found out today, it is really affecting us.  As we are trying, we just are failing.  I know I am starting to feel like a fish out of water.  Every day it seems as though there is something new to worry about and there is something else we need to watch for.  Every day it seems harder and harder to get her to eat.  It is a constant struggle to get her to drink.  And most of that is because we are so stressed out.

I think the added stress of not having a good plan is more than I can take.  I still cannot shake the comment about institutionalizing my daughter.  It has gotten me really mad.  Satan is having a hay day there and I am allowing it.  It really is a struggle.  And then I get really mad and guilty when I do let that comment get the best of me.  I know I need to just push it off, but it is really hard coming from a doctor who was suppose to be caring for my child and having her best interests in mind.  Ugh!

So, as we were in church today, our Pastor's wife came up and just asked how the church could support us.  I think we are wearing our stress on our face and our poker face is gone!  People can see the fatigue and the dark circles under our eyes.  When Allison prays in church for Lydia to just get is a struggle.  But as we were talking, I just kept saying if we could just get 6 days of good eating, drinking, and health for Lydia, that could put us on the right track.  If nothing else, it could de-stress all of us and give us some rest.

I know that this is not something that will be fixed today or tomorrow.  This is our life.  This is a marathon that we are racing in.  Slow and steady will get us there.  However, sometimes it is good just to admit that you are in over your head.  If we can just get a small window of time to give us some hope and recharge, I think things will look a lot better!

Each day I wake up expecting that miracle of her eating and the scale to say like 18lbs.  While I will still anticipate my miracle, I give thanks to God for all of the others He has showed us.  He allowed her to survive two MAJOR surgeries.  She has overcome the odds in so many things.  I know she can do it, and I know that He is holding her.  I think we just need a little time to recharge.

Thank you for joining us in prayer.  As always, we appreciate your comments, your prayers, your means A LOT to us!  Thank you!

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