Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Just a Mom

When was the last time that you took the day to just snuggle your little one?  When was the last time you took time out to just cherish the blessing God gave you in your children?  Even though I am a stay at home mom, my to-do list often gets in my way.  They ask me to color and I say one second while I just tidy up this pile of papers.  That one second turns into several minutes which soon the day passes and you realize you never did make it over to color a picture. 

Satan has a funny way of stealing our time.  Distracting us from the things that are important.  This has been on my mind a lot lately.  In the hospital we were totally focused on one thing.  The things that distracted us, often times, were issues that were related to Lydia's health.  However, there were very few times I thought about how I looked (lots of time I was woken from a sleep to talk to a doctor), if I was pumping and someone came into the room, I just talked to them while I pumped. Everything we did was centered around Lydia, making her better, and how to help and support her.  Our focus was directed and not many things took our mind off of that.

I have been trying really hard to take what we learned and actually apply it to my life.  Often times we learn, but we don't really put it into practice.  I think that is one of the hardest things to do.  I want to be totally focused on my children.  God has allowed me to be a stay at home mom.  While the job, most days, is anything but glamorous, it is what He has chosen for me.  I must bring Him glory, no matter what.

Today was one of the first days I was able to have a day totally devoted to Lydia.  She was really off her game and she was getting to me.  I found myself thinking things like, you are cramping my style, do you know I have things I need to get done today?  She doesn't understand.  So, with piles of laundry backing up, a full dishwasher that needed to be emptied, a house that needed to be picked up, clothes that needed to be washed, I sat and held my child.  I was being a mom.  She needed me and I needed her.  It has been a long time since I have just embraced that part of being a mom.  After all, I am spoiled.  My fourteen month old still likes to snuggle.  She is not mobile yet and she still wants/needs her mommy.  I guess there are blessings even when we don't think there are!!!!

I also noticed when I went to pick up Ellen, we just sat and talked.  She told me what she did all day at school.  She went on a field trip today and she told me about it the entire way back to our house.  What a special moment.  I concentrated just on her and the joy of being a mom.  I found myself watching my rear view mirror a little too much.  I just found such joy in that moment.

When Allison was getting off the bus, I saw her run to me.  I saw the joy in her eyes.  I heard the excitement of her day as she started telling me all about her day.  I wondered how many times I had probably missed that.  I held her hand as we walked up the driveway and listened to her.  She came and unpacked her backpack and read me her book.  Mom can we do more learning stuff together...and we did.  It was just one of those moments that taught me and reminded me how precious life is, how we need to embrace every moment.

So while I don't live in a big fancy house, my house is not neat all of the time (it usually is clean though), you can come in at any moment and find laundry, or toys spread out on the floor, I usually am a mess (some kind of baby food on me, hair not quite right), but I would not trade that for anything.  This is the glory that I need to give to God.  I need to remember that He placed me here for a reason.  He chose me to be a stay at home mom, to raise these children according to His way.  He trusted me.  I need to embrace that more and remember that.

I am just a mom and I am happy about that.  I will never win any awards, I will never be famous, I will never live in that mansion, I will never have a magazine-fit body, but I can color, I can sing Jesus Loves Me, I can play a pretty mean game of Candy Land, and I still get stains on my clothes just as I did when I was a kid.  I will relish in that, knowing I am giving everything I have to my kids.  This is where God has me, this is the season of my life that I can just pour everything into my kids.  I am going to try to take more time to embrace that.  I am going to let the clothes sit, the dishes air dry more often!  I will laugh and have fun with my kids and make memories.  Thank you God for this special blessing....thank you for allowing me to once again realize this important job you have given me.  While I realize that maybe not every day I can be thankful as I am today, I would like to strive for that!

On another note, one year ago today we were preparing ourselves as Lydia was getting ready to have her connection surgery.  I added a picture to my facebook page and wrote whatever came to mind.  This is what I said (sometimes I can surprise myself with my own thoughts!) "While we could have never prepared ourselves for the month after this surgery, we could not have prepared ourselves for who she is today.  We are so blessed."  To me that goes with embracing the moment.  We are not promised tomorrow and we don't know what God holds for us, so embrace what He has given you now. 

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