The joy of sacrifice. I know, seems as though they do not go hand in hand. However, I have learned that there is a true joy in sacrificing. As I have said before, I am a pretty selfish person. I am working on not being so selfish, but it is hard. Sacrifice is a hard thing when you are selfish. But how about sacrificing when it is your child, your husband, your sister, your parents, a friend, a stranger? Sometimes it is easier than others!
I have been taught on this journey to keep the image of Jesus on the Cross near and dear to me. He suffered for me, I did not deserve it. And yet while I was still a sinner Jesus suffered and died for me. A sinner. When you keep that in perspective it makes it a tad bit easier, but it is still a difficult task.
As I sit here, two plus years into our journey and focus on where we have been and what we have been through, where we are now, and what is yet to come; I do get very overwhelmed at times. We have been through a lot. We have learned a lot, we have given up a lot, we have changed a lot. But I have to say that our entire family is much better because of the sacrifice of the journey.
I would sacrifice everything to feel this moment, to watch my children grow and learn. I would sacrifice all the money in the world for moments of accomplishments with my children. It is humbling when you use to have that nest egg built up, thinking you were on top of the world. To only have a child and God tell you that money you thought would put that much needed addition on to your house, start your children in college; is now going to pay for hospital bills. It is amazing what you will sacrifice to make ends meet so your child can have the very best. And most times there is no question about what will be sacrificed to pay for her medicine, her clothes, shoes, braces, supplements; it is just done.
So far every cold and flu season we have sacrificed going places and doing things to keep our Lydia safe from germs. We have had to cancel things, rearrange things, we have had to sit at home because it is the very best thing for her to do. I am often times surprised at how easy it is for my other children to just give up their plans. They do it with such grace. I on the other hand am willing to do it, but often times I complain. I could learn something from my children once again! But we do these things because we understand that this is the very best thing for her.
We picked our lives up and moved to the hospital because it was the very best thing for Lydia. We were a family and we could all be together. We were making memories and forming bonds that would carry us through some very tough stuff. We make those sacrifices with a joyful heart now because that is what family do. We understand how to be there for one another and how to give up something for the sake of the group. These are life lessons that are hard to be taught, but have become rather easy to follow.
I am so blessed to have learned this lesson once again. While I fall completely short of what I am suppose to be doing, I am learning. I am heading in the right direction. It is a joy to sacrifice for someone else, to give beyond comprehension without the expectation of anything in return. The simple joy of this sacrifice is all that I need. I am so blessed that Lydia has once again shown me how to live a much better life. I am so blessed that I have her. She has taught me so much and I am honored to be her mother. Thank you Lydia for showing me joy in the sacrifices that are becoming so easy to me! Your joy is all that I need!