The more and more I thought about what happened yesterday, I couldn't help but see that it was a blessing in disguise. While the words hurt and sting, I know my daughter is worth more and I know that I don't have to prove that to anyone. It is almost like a hurdle that I had to climb over to get to a better spot. I know that I will never be able to change every one's mind, but I would ask that everyone at least give people with DS (or any disability for that matter) a chance before judging.
However, I think when something bad has been done to you the feeling is horrible. But if you take a look back and reflect things are not always as they appear. I have been asking how many times in my life have I done something like that? How many times have I said something before knowing the whole situation? How do I treat other people? What else is happening in my life that is not God honoring?
I believe that when you can get to a place in your life like this, when someone has done something mean to you and you can ask yourself what can I learn from this; I believe that you are growing and the Holy Spirit is working in and through you. I know that there are so many nasty things in my life that I must take care of before I start looking at other people. I have an awareness of how my feelings and actions affect others and it hurts me when I hurt others.
God is always using obstacles in our lives to teach us and grow us. We miss out on these opportunities because we are consumed with ourselves, feeling sorry for us, or trying to place blame on someone else because it is easier than looking inside ourselves. We are our own worst stumbling block in this manner. We miss out on blessing after blessing because we feel we know better.
Yesterday as I was sitting on the couch, Lydia was playing with my hair. She was stroking her fingers through each strand of hair. At one point, she decided that she would not be gentle anymore. I said ouch and told her to be gentle and nice. Her bottom lip immediately came out and she felt bad. She hugged me and said sorry. It hurts her to see others hurt.
She did the same thing with her sister. Her sister fell and hurt her knee and was crying. Lydia stopped what she was doing and walked across the room to hug her and pat her on the back. It did not matter what she was doing, she heard someone was in distress and she wanted to be there to comfort. She wanted to be there to help out. What an amazing thing to witness!
I realize this way of thinking is not very popular. Yelling, punching, screaming, saying hurtful things usually are our first reactions. However, if we give into these things we are no better than the person who did it to us first. The hard thing is to take the high road and walk away and pray for that person. We are to love our enemies too!
While I am far from being perfect, God is working on me. He is constantly giving me these situations to learn. When I walked into that store last night (Lydia was not with me), I held my husbands hand and held my head high. I am stronger because of these words. I am stronger because of the hurt. While the sting is there and sometimes catches me off guard, I know that I am strong; I know that my God is bigger than any situation.
Lydia is constantly teaching me how to be a better person. I need to remember that I too am not always a kind, caring person; nor have I always been nice. This is my life now and I cannot expect everyone to understand Lydia (or disabilities) the way I do. I too had an adjustment period, while I always loved her, there is that unsettling feeling and fear of the unknown and differences. I can ask for a chance from people, but some people are unwilling to give that too. So I will go confident in the journey that God has given me and continue to question in the difficult situations what I am suppose to learn!