Today I want to talk about love. Lydia has shown me what love is in such a different way. It has affected me so much that this blog was started. Love is so much more than that feeling that we get. Love is so much more than ourselves. Love is a choice. Love is something that we chose all of the time. Love is not a feeling.
When I married my husband, I did not have a clue what love was. I loved for a feeling, I loved because it made me feel good. I loved because he did things for me all of the time. I loved because he made me feel special. All fine reasons for love, until the weather of life starts to rumble. What happens when you encounter your first large trial of life? Will your feeling of love withstand it, or will it crumble?
My husband and I have had many trials that this life has thrown at us. I am blessed to say that early on God showed us how we needed to build our marriage, our home, our foundation. Without that, we would not have been able to withstand a lot of life's trials and tribulations. Love is so much more than a feeling. When my husband was not treating me well, I had to chose to love him, and it was not easy. Just like when I was not nice to him, I am so glad that he chose to love me anyways.
When Lydia came along love was easy, it was my child. However, love made me chose some hard things. It is not easy to put your child through major operations. But in love, we had to. It is not easy to chose between your children, but in love we knew we were doing the very best thing for our family.
And because of these trials, I do believe that my children have been taught some very valuable lessons. They understand that love is tough, that it is a choice. If you were ever near the Ronald McDonald house on a weekend when our children went with one of their grandma's you would understand just how tough it was. The crying from mom and the yelling from the children. That desperation that we just wanted to be with one another. While we all understood what the best choice was, it was hard. I tear up just thinking about the pain and loneliness that we went through. It was a far cry from the feeling of love that I had when each of them were first placed in my arms, when I had the first date with my husband. But as the storms of life were crashing, I better understood love.
There are days when my children drive me nuts, when they push my buttons too far, but I am still called to love them. There are days when the medical issues with Lydia seem too hard to endure, but I am still called to love her. There are days when my husband drives me nuts but I am still called to love him. And I am sure there are days when my entire family is just about fed up with my stuff too; but they still choose to love me.
Lydia also showed me what unconditional love is. It is not saying I will love you if you are perfect, but saying I will love all of your imperfections because that is what makes you, you! It is about having my love all of the time and not just for a moment or when you do this or you dress like this. Love is all of the time. Just as the Father sent His only Son to die for me and you, for our sins. While we were still sinners, Jesus died for us. Unconditional love.
And Lydia gives the best unconditional love to not only her family, but complete strangers. She demonstrates love all of the time. Love without bounds. Love without strings attached. Pure and simple love.
I am so thankful for this lesson. I am a better person because not only through Lydia, but our journey with the medical issues, I understand love so much better. It has made my marriage so much better, my parenting skills more effective, my compassion for others greater, my disposition on life better. I am so blessed that she is mine. I am blessed each day at the lessons she constantly shows me. Praise God!