As the days go by I am struggling to continue to explain why Lydia makes me better. There is lesson after lesson that I have learned from her and as I am happy to share them, sometimes I feel like a lot of the lessons are very similar, yet very different. Sometimes I feel like I am repeating myself. But I cannot help but try to encourage someone who just found out that their baby may have a little something extra, to try to help others see that Lydia is more alike that different. However, it is not up to me to change people's minds, they have to do it for themselves. And the only way to really do that is to surround yourself with people who are different than you.
I remember that it was scary learning that our child was different. And the only reason that she had the label of different is because society is trying to lump all of these beautifully created people into one category when they really can't. There are trends and risks for people who are extra special, but my other children have that too....there just is not a HUGE spot light that creates attention.
I guess what I am trying to say is that because I was vulnerable, I opened myself up to a new experience, a new challenge, I have been blessed. Because I said yes I will love you unconditionally for who you were created to be I have been blessed beyond my comprehension. However, you must first get to the point that you are willing to expose yourself in such a way.
If I look at it like that, I cannot expect others to fully understand the goodness of Lydia until they want to open themselves up and experience the blessings. PreLydia days I probably was not so open to people who looked different, acted in a different way, looked a little different. I probably saw a child acting out and thought that they were not properly disciplined instead of now I am more open to the possibility of something else. I think if we are all honest with ourselves we would have to admit that.
I am blessed because I said yes. She has taught me stuff beyond what I thought was possible. However, I am in a teachable place because I did say yes! That is a great spot to be in and I pray that I am able to stay here. God is using me and growing me because I am open to that. Lydia has taught me that just because she was born. I hope that makes sense. But we were given that choice (there was no choice for us because I do not believe in abortion and that would never be an issue for our family no matter what) when we found out that there may be something different with our baby. At that very moment I was teachable and I have been learning lessons about myself and life ever since then.
Thank you Lydia for showing me a whole new path in life, for allowing me to look at a circumstance through much different eyes. Thank you for allowing me to be a better person and constantly growing.